Whether I like it or not, life is forcing me to make some changes. I’ve told myself that I’d like to be more open about this, but I’m caught in worry. How does one stay true to themselves about being open and honest, while also balancing the desire not to complicate things?

Perhaps I need another week of the Spring Cleaning Series, titled “Spring Clean Your Annoying Intrusive Thoughts.” Eh, that title is a work in progress.

Catchy titles that will have you read these newsletters are hard to come up with and don’t always come quickly, but that makes sense because we all know that…

But first, I want to take you on a journey to Brooklyn at Sofreh Cafe for the latest Great Things episode. If you’ve ever felt like you’ve missed the opportunity to achieve your Great Things because it doesn’t match the normal timeline, you’ll love this story.

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“I don’t come from a culinary background; I come from home.”

Chef Nasim Alikhani is proof that you don’t need to check the same boxes in the same order as everyone else. There is no prescribed order in which you need to live your life to achieve your Great Things after she opened her first restaurant in 2018 at age 59.

Chef Nasim grew up in Isfahan, Iran, where she was surrounded by strong women preparing food at what she felt to be the highest caliber. Her mother was such a good cook that it actually made it a challenge for Alikhani to eat at other people’s homes. (What I wouldn’t give to hear her and Nana swap recipes).

After studying law in Tehran, moving to NYC, getting a degree in sociology, and opening and running a successful print and copy shop in Manhattan, Chef Nasim felt unfulfilled professionally. Despite having a profitable business, her heart wasn’t in it.

But as much as she was ready to make a career pivot, the birth of her twins put a lot on the back burner for her until they hit first grade and she needed to do something with the new time she had. So, she did what any mother of twins with a little extra free time might do… she signed up for her first marathon and went back to university, receiving a degree in international affairs from The New School for Social Research. (You know, what most of us naturally do)

By the time her kids reached middle school, she decided it was time to pursue her passions and open a restaurant. But what to name something that had such a special place in her heart? Naturally, everyone had an opinion on the direction she should go.

What came next is relatable for every New Yorker who has driven on the BQE. Being stuck in traffic, combined with the irritation of not being able to decide on a name for her new venture, and the external input of others’ opinions, all boiled over, causing her to exclaim, “All I want to do is sofreh!”

There it was. A name that had such a deep meaning connected to her past and values. Sofreh is a special Persian cloth spread over an eating surface during dining or special celebrations that symbolizes hospitality, culture, and togetherness. Now she could share “sofreh” with everyone.

And share it she has! Her acclaimed restaurant, Sofreh, was recently ranked #27 on the NY Times 100 Best Restaurants List. Chef Nasim has cooked for the Met Gala and the White House, opened a café, and written a cookbook (on top of running marathons and being a mother to twins).

The thing that stuck with me the most about my time with Chef Nasim was that she has made it her mission to try to learn something new every day. To never stop learning, because when you do, that’s when you begin to slow down and decay. Age does not define one’s ability to learn new things and do them well.

No matter where you are in your life, it has NO bearing on what you can accomplish.

Check out the video below to learn more about her story and get an inside look at her cafe, Sofreh Cafe.

You can find Sofreh on Instagram, or visit them in Brooklyn (both the restaurant and cafe are within a few blocks of each other in Park Slope)

When you think of Spring Cleaning, you naturally think of tidying up and doing some deep cleaning to all the things that built up gunk and junk over the year. Dirt, grime, clutter, you name it, it’s time to toss it and reset! 

For me, the idea of Spring Cleaning Your Environment is a laundry commercial. Clean sheets billowing in the invisible wind in your home, the scent of fresh flowers filling the air, Mr. Clean yapping it up with me about how great it is to have a bald head… Everything is so simple, fresh, and uncluttered. It’s exactly the environment I’d like to feel most at ease and productive, and to avoid overwhelm.

Think of what Dr. Jen shared about how overwhelmed we are in our minds when it comes to our input. We aren’t meant to process this much input, and the same can be said for our surroundings.

Some of us can overlook clutter or things being out of place, but for others, it becomes a huge distraction. You go into a room to grab something, and then walk out 30 minutes later after a series of mini-tasks, having forgotten what you went into that room for in the first place.

Your environment plays such an important part in how you attack life in the pursuit of your Great Things. But let’s be realistic, you can’t often make huge changes to your living situation. 

With Spring Cleaning Your Environment, I’m right alongside you, leaning on some old habits and new routines to better set myself up for this new era of life. With life changes switching up how my home is laid out, I can’t allocate a large portion of my time to redecorate or catch up on things that I might have let slide in the past. 

Also, I don’t really want to. Does that sound bad? There are a million other things I’d rather tackle than figure out the perfect placement of pillows. But I know just how much my environment can impact me, as it’s the first and last thing I experience each day. Just think: my mornings directly correlate to how many pushups I’m going to have you do. Does a relaxing environment mean more or less? Next time you’re asking “who hurt you?” it’s a good chance the answer is my laundry pile.

So, begrudgingly, here’s what I’m working on.

Cleaning in my house as a child was pretty straightforward: everyone had a space that was theirs that they “owned” for a period of time. We would rotate who had what, but there was a clear hierarchy of the rooms. The bathroom was, of course, the worst. The kitchen wasn’t bad (personally, I love washing dishes; I could wash dishes all damn day!), and the living room was by far the best.

No matter how old, we all had something to do, even if it was a small task. It was an important reminder that the space was shared space amongst us all. When I spent time on something, it gave me a sense of ownership. I’ve carried that feeling into my adult life in multiple areas, knowing that when I put meaningful effort into something, I’ll see results I’m proud of and want to share with others.

Doing something incomplete or the lazy way did not give the same gratification because no matter how fast things got done, you can bet that if Nana saw a speck of dust, you’d be back to fix your mistakes and then some.

For better or worse, I learned that focusing on one thing at a time until I completed it the right way was the easiest way to get something done before moving on to the next thing. There was nothing worse than thinking you had finished your room, only to turn around and see piles of things you had left for later.

Now, as I’m moving through my home, I’m trying to be intentional with how I approach things. I’m picking a room, or a section, and sticking to it until it’s done no matter how hard it is for me in this moment. I don’t have to have all the time in the world, just five minutes. But if I can finish what I started, I’m not walking around with another task hanging over my head. 

With the weight most of you carry, I’m sure you can relate to that. You’ve got enough on your plate; you don’t also need to worry about the organization of your t-shirt drawer.

On the wall of my home is a photo of Nana prominently displayed. When I lived in my apartment in Brooklyn, it was in the spare room right by the front door, so that each day when I left, I made sure to say goodbye to her. There was the security of feeling like she was right there, looking down on me, but there was also a reminder attached to her image that is hanging so prominently. Programming classes, mapping out my schedule, taking calls, they all were in her presence and a reminder of what I’m working towards and what she’d say about my priorities.

If she were here, could I explain my reasoning to her? 

“Maurice, why are you doing that? It’s taking up so much of your time.”

It isn’t that she wouldn’t have wanted me to pursue certain things; for her, she would have expected me to have a good reason. To be able to back up my choices and for my decisions to match my values and goals. My Great Things needed to align with my time commitment.

Whether it be a vision board, a picture, a view, a trinket, etc., finding something that reminds you of why you do what you do is incredibly important to ensuring you’re on track.

Now, that photo of Nana hangs in my office and works in many ways. More than, say, a photo of a mansion filled with 40 cars. While that’s not my ultimate life goal, it works as an example of something that feels one-dimensional to me: you work hard with one goal in mind to make money. 

If making money is my reminder every day, who am I reminded of being? What am I going to be prioritizing? Is there anything as important as making money in that situation? Is what you’re displaying nuanced enough for what you want to achieve?

With Nana in the background, I’m reminded that it’s okay to take a day off from something; it will still be there tomorrow. Maybe it’s not worth it to skip out on time with loved ones. Plus, there’s more of a probability that a pit in my stomach will form when doing something that isn’t representative of my goals.

Placing key reminders around my space of why I do what I do is a subtle reminder at times when I need it the most. It doesn’t have to be anything big, but it has to be effective for me. Drinking coffee from a Great Things Take Time-branded mug is a reminder of the extra work I’m putting into growing something of my own (and to be patient about the timeline). 

Hey, maybe all I need is a big sign on my front door so that as I leave, I’m reminded to “STOP STRESSING ABOUT WHAT YOU CAN’T CONTROL!!” How’s that for a kick in the pants reset?

Shared spaces, budget, time, and desire are a few things that limit how you improve upon your environment, but we all have at least one corner of our space that can be dedicated to something that resets us.

Currently, there are a few rooms in my home that have green walls, a choice that may have felt a bit outlandish since this is a rental, but the green brings me peace. Both my office and home gym have this same color because for both, I need something calming. 

When I work out, I don’t always need to be hyped up. Lately, I’ve felt overwhelmed and very down, which has been causing me to have a hard time prepping for Hyrox. I don’t need something that’s going to amp me up to have a good workout; I need something that’s going to regulate my mood. Hence, the green color.

Moving forward, I’m looking for little corners of my home where I can make the space give me what I need in that moment. Maybe that’s a coffee corner with a flower in a jar, or making sure that all my laundry is put away before heading to bed. A painted wall or a piece of artwork can change the entire feeling of a room. Even just putting away all the little things that are sitting out on a desk or counter can make one feel like they’re in a whole new place. 

Slowly, I can branch out and live into the adult joy of having control over my own space (making bigger decisions others might not necessarily agree with) and of my time. My time isn’t split as I fall prey to all the distractions that come up. There is more intentionality with where I’m spending my time and how my mood is being regulated, but I’m also prepared if I need to switch to a new task because there is less clutter in my way, slowing me down.

And isn’t that what being an adult is all about? Having grand plans and then having to pivot as the Universe laughs in your face? For better or for worse, my life may be changing, but the least I can do is prep what I can control.

Drop the broom, we’ve got better things to clean!

Week one was all about the invisible clutter in our lives, and now we’re on week five with the tangible clutter! Hopefully, you’ve walked away feeling lighter and more refreshed mentally and ready for whatever the summer is going to throw at you.

Your turn! Journal your answer, or if you find yourself sharing the progress of your Great Things on social, tag me at @greatthingswith_adrian so I can join in on cheering you along!